I know we sure weren’t perfect, but when we’re together, there is just a chemistry between us that is undeniable. When I’m with him, I feel safe. Despite the fact that he has led me on and let me down and lost my trust, I still feel more deeply for him than I have for anyone before. When we were together, I felt beautiful and I felt comfortable. We could talk about anything and somehow, it just seemed like we fit together, like two puzzle pieces. I can’t say for certain that he is the love of my life, but what I can say is this: I feel like there is a piece of me missing without him. I have never loved someone so deeply, so long, so unconditionally as I love him.
I keep coming back to this idea that there is something that keeps drawing me towards him, and has been for years. And when he reached out to me last year and started talking to me again, I thought that maybe he felt that way, too. And now, we’ve tried, and failed, again. If what he says is true and he really just isn’t ready for a relationship right now, then maybe he will be eventually. And maybe then, with better timing and better luck, we can try again. However, I’m fully aware that that may never happen. In fact, it most likely won’t. I know I’m not the exception to the rule; usually when a guy says he’s not ready for a relationship, it just means he’s not ready for a relationship with you. But if he really does still care about me, then maybe there’s more to it than that.
Or maybe, even if he does feel the same way, things will never work out between us. Maybe, regardless of how many times we try, we are just not meant to be together.
Maybe these feelings will go away. But maybe they won’t. And if that’s the case, what am I supposed to do with all of these feelings? What am I supposed to do with all this love? How will I know when it’s time to give up? I’ve always thought that I would end up with the love of my life, but what if he’s not the one I’m meant to be with? What if the love of your life and the right one for you are two different people?